Planning a Heart-Centered Valentine’s Day
One Valentine’s Day, I thought I had it all figured out. I made a reservation at an upscale restaurant weeks in advance and pictured an evening of romance and fine dining. When the day arrived, things went downhill fast.
Despite having a reservation, we waited over an hour just to be seated. By the time we were finally at our table, we were both starving and frustrated. Then came the food: I had ordered a delicate seafood dish, which ended up being overcooked and lukewarm, while my partner’s steak was far from the medium-rare perfection they’d hoped for.
It wasn’t really the restaurant’s fault—Valentine’s Day is one of the busiest dining nights of the year. But the gap between my expectations and reality left me feeling disappointed and disconnected.
Looking back, I realize the real issue wasn’t the restaurant or the food—it was the fact that I had ignored my own instincts and done what I thought I should do. When you learn to integrate your body’s wisdom, you eliminate the false pretense of expectation. While your mind can tell you all kinds of stories, your body provides unadulterated truth.
This Valentine’s Day, instead of letting societal expectations guide you, try this three-step strategy to plan a celebration that aligns with your true self. Inspired by Martha Beck’s Body Compass exercise from Finding Your Own North Star, it will help you tune into your body’s natural wisdom and create a day filled with genuine love and joy—whether you’re spending it with a partner, friends, or yourself.
Step 1: Reflect on a Not-So-Great Valentine’s Day
Start by recalling a Valentine’s Day that didn’t go well. Who were you with? What were you doing? Take a moment to bring this memory to life in vivid detail. Engage all your senses: sights, sounds, smells, and feelings. As you activate this memory, perform a quick body scan. What physical sensations do you notice? Are there knots in your stomach? Tightness in your chest? Name and claim these sensations—they are your body’s way of signaling misalignment with your true self.
Step 2: Relive Your Best Valentine’s Day
Now shift your focus to a Valentine’s Day that felt amazing. Maybe it was romantic, spontaneous, or full of laughter. Close your eyes and drop into this memory, replaying it as if it’s a movie scene. Engage all your senses again: What do you see, hear, and feel? Perform another body scan. Are there butterflies in your belly or a sense of lightness in your chest? Note these positive sensations—this is your body’s way of affirming alignment with your essential self. Let this feeling guide you.
Step 3: Let Your Body Decide Your Valentine’s Day Plan
Create a list of three potential activities for this Valentine’s Day. Not sure where to start? Do a little research or brainstorm ideas that pique your interest. Once you have your options, imagine yourself engaging in each activity. Again, activate your senses and scan your body. Which activities spark sensations closer to your best Valentine’s Day memory? Which feel more aligned with your inner joy? Trust your body to lead you to the plan that’s right for you.
The Takeaway: By tuning into your body’s signals, you can bypass the overthinking trap and tap into your intuitive, creative side. Instead of getting stuck in “what you should do,” you’ll discover what truly excites and delights you. Strengthening the mind-body connection bridges the gap between intellect and intuition, allowing you to plan a celebration that feels authentic and fulfilling. This Valentine’s Day, give yourself the gift of letting your body do the thinking for you—you deserve a day filled with genuine love and joy.
